Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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