This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
