Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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