Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize