Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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