Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize