Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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