just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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