Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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