Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
