best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
