I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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