we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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