Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
