The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
