If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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