also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
3pm strippers are depressing
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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