I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
