Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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