did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
its liver damage thursday
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
