i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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