She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
