Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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