You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
