Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
