i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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