Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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