used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
