and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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