Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
