Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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