I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
