i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
