I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
