thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
