Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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