Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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