if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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