Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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