just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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