she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
