hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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