she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize