The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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