i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
