I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
