It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize