it was like his penis was on wheels.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
