WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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