i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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