what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize