So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
