I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
