you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have post one night stand depression
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
