And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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