he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
