at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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