I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
