I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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